Another Christmas Alone
by The Weather Gal
Summary: Another Christmas Eve finds our favorite bohemians out in the middle of a snow ball fight, but the filmmaker finds himself alone on the holiday, again. A little MarkRoger


**Author's Note:** This is just a one-shot fic I was inspired to write in the spirit of the holidays! It's just something I tried, so maybe it works, maybe not. Let me know what you think! I'm still working on my next new big story, so stay tuned for that! RENT & all the characters belong to Jonathan Larson and I'm just using them for a little fun! Thank you for reading and I hope everyone has a Happy Holiday!

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**Another Christmas Alone**

Another Christmas Eve finds the residents of Avenue B without electricity. I'm convinced that Benny just does it now to spite us, but that's just the part of me that's evil coming through. As soon as the lights went, we all let out a moan and went automatically over to the box of candles and set them up around the room.

The scene in front of me is as follows: pan left to the couch where Roger and Mimi are curled up, enjoying their glass of the beverage of the evening. Pan center, where Joanne and Maureen have taken to sitting on the window ledge, still continuing the fight they were blabbing on about when they entered. Then there's me, the center of it all, the one viewing the scene without and 'and' to their name. Another Christmas has come and gone and I am alone again, alone to drown in my misery with my camera.

I continue to record my companions, Mimi and Roger's hushed conversation and bright smiles make a great scene and I can never have enough of Maureen acting like the drama queen that she is on film. We're waiting the arrival of Collins, who per usual, should be arriving any second now. I hear the phone ring and I bring down my camera from my face.

"SPEAK!" the message sounds.

"I'm home! Throw down the keys!" we hear Collins' voice come through the speaker.

I set my camera down and make my way to the window and step outside. I look down to see my favorite professor with that big smile of his and throw down our keys. I jump back inside the loft and go to pick up my camera again, but decide to wait until we've welcomed Collins properly back home.

The door opens and the rest of the chatter in the loft stops temporarily. The other four jump up out of their spots and walk over with me to greet Collins.

"Collins!" we all scream as he enters.

Maureen rushes over first to hug him, Joanne close behind. They each welcome him openly and are pushed aside by Roger, who I could tell was getting annoyed by the two females. He walked up to Collins and grabbed onto him tightly and let go before we'd say anything to mock him. Mimi was next and he wrapped his arms around her small frame. She placed a small kiss on his cheek and they all stepped aside so I could greet my former roommate.

He grabs me for our hug and I whisper in his ear quietly for no one else to hear, "About time you came home, I was sick of being the only single guy around here."

He pulls away and laughs at my comment. "Oh Mark, haven't gotten any lately?"

The rest of the group laughs at his remark and I turn around to face them all, "Thanks guys, thanks… that hurt."

"Oh Marky, you know you need to get out more," Maureen says to me and have to refrain from rolling my eyes too obviously. I turn back to face Collins, who I notice has a bag full of surprises, per usual.

"Merry Christmas," Collins declares, bringing out a bottle of vodka and a stack of cups. I grab my cup full and move to grab my camera to capture our Christmas toast.

We bring our cups up to toast and its difficult balancing the cup and camera in my two hands, but I manage. I know I'm becoming over reliant on my camera lately, but I think it helps with the agony of being alone.

The couples stroll back to their respective positions and I'm left to talk with Collins. He leads me over away from the group and has that look in his eye like we have something to talk about.

"So, how have things really been Mark?" he begins questioning me. I glance away from him, clutching my camera tighter to my body. It was the only thing that seemed to care about me and it often frightened me that it was an inanimate object.

"Uh…." I stutter in response to his frankness.

"I'm assuming you haven't told him yet," he says with a fatherly tone and I release a sigh. Collins knows my deepest, darkest secret, since I accidentally told it to him when we were drinking one night and he's harassed me about it ever since.

"No… why would I?" I remark back and I sense the bitterness in my voice.

He places a hand on my shoulder and I know he's going to lecture me again, "Mark, you sit around, miserable, and don't even make a point to find anyone else. If you're going to decide not to do anything about it, then you need to move on."

I know he's right and it tears me up inside. "I know… but, well… you know me."

"I'm serious Mark."

"I know you are, but you can't even fathom how much I feel for him, how much I care. But seeing him happy with Mimi, I mean, they are perfect for each other. I couldn't ruin what he has," I remark back with my usual rant on the situation.

"We've been over this, I know. I'm just saying… every time I come here you look more and more depressed and I hate to see you do this to yourself," he comforts me.

"Let's… let's go back to the group before they say anything," I quietly suggest, wanting to stop discussing this topic as much as possible.

We walk back over to the two couples who've continued their respective conversations. Collins clears his throat and I look over to see what he's going to say to the group.

"So, I had a great idea. Let's get out of this hell hole," he suggests and I can't agree any more.

"Sounds great! Where are we going?" Mimi replies.

"Well, I know you all might hate me for this, but one wintery day Angel and I had found this park a couple blocks from here and just had a snowball fight, and I know we all have some bottled aggression I know we could get out…"

Roger speaks with a little laugh in his voice, "You're kidding me Collins."

"No, come on Roger, I'd be fun!" he replies.

Mimi latches on to Roger and convinces him with, "Come on Roger, It would be fun. I know you'd love to get Maureen in the face with a snowball."

"What!" Maureen jumped up and walked over to Mimi. "I thought we were friends!"

"Oh, Maureen, come on, we need some fun around here!" Mimi said to the whiney Maureen.

"Alright, we're in, right Pookie?" Maureen declared as she turned to Joanne.

Joanne started shaking her head in disgust, but I saw a smile appear on her face, "Alright, why not?"

"Great! Everyone grab some gloves and let's go," Collins states and the group starts moving to leave. I grab my coat, gloves, and bag with camera and move over to the door. Mimi and Roger slinked into his room to grab appropriate clothing. Maureen and Joanne waited beside Collins and me at the door for the pair to return and as soon as they did, we headed out.

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We arrive at the park Collins mentioned in the loft and walk hesitantly up to the snow covered grass. I set my camera down temporarily by a slide and walked over to the rest of the group. However, I was quickly taken aback as I felt the hard feeling of a snowball hitting my back. I jumped around to see Roger with a sly grin on his face and I grabbed my own handful of snow to respond. I threw the ball I had made at him, but barely scraped his arm.

"Good aim Mark!" he joked back.

"Oh, shut up Roger, I'm going to get you!" I responded and started running after him with a bigger ball that I had before. We're running quite fast and we've managed to move a pretty far distance away from the rest of the group. I finally catch up to him close enough to nail him pretty good on the back. He stops to spin around and I didn't even notice him grab any snow, because the next thing I know I've been pelted in the chest with a ball of snow.

"Ouch, Roger, that hurt!" I exclaimed after he hurled the little ball at me.

"Aww… poor Marky!" he joked back and it was officially war. I grabbed my weaponry and began chasing after him again and we moved farther away from the rest of the group, which consisted of Maureen and Joanne rolling around in the snow, while throwing it at each other, and Collins just laughing at them. Then there was innocent Mimi, who was making snow angels in the ground (for Angel, she said).

I began to get out of breath and slowed up a little. Roger noticed I had done this and he slowed down as well, backing up with his arms behind his back. I see this and grab a handful of snow and chuck it at him. I manage to throw a fair portion right in his face and he shakes it off like a dog. He steps up right in front of me and throws a large ball right on top of my head.

"Oh, that just wasn't even fair," I remark.

"Lighten up, Cohen, you know you're going to lose this one," he says with that sly look on his face. Next thing I know, he's got me on the ground and snow is flying in all directions, he's throwing it especially on my face, but on the majority of my body as well. With the break I have, I manage to lean up and grab him to the ground.

"Hmph," he mutters when he lands on the hard grass next to me. I lean up so I can start throwing snow back on his face and it becomes and all out war. We're both lying and sitting on the ground, throwing whatever snow is in the nearest vicinity. However, at one point Roger plants a huge piece of snow and he tumbles down on top of me.

He's literally sitting on top of me and it's like my every fantasy come true. I feel our faces get incredibly close and I just want to reach up and grab the back of his neck and kiss him. However, I notice his body tense up and he backs away, uneasy and afraid. He stands up quickly and brushes the snow off of his coat and mumbles something I couldn't quite hear. He turns and runs back to the rest of the crowd.

I lean back and lay on the cold ground. I ruined my chance. It probably wouldn't have mattered anyway; I could tell he doesn't feel like that for me. I sit up after a minute and watch him run towards the group. He returns and picks up Mimi to give her a kiss and I just collapse back on the ground.

"God, Roger, I love you," I say out loud, quietly, admitting to myself what I had tried to ignore for so long.

I finally mustered up the energy to stand up and walked back over to the happy group, all smiles, playing with the snow. I take out my camera, my one companion that will never abandon me, will never fail me, and start filming. Small snow flakes begin pouring from the sky and I just stand back and observe it all. It's all I ever can do: observe, create, and be alone. Thus, another Christmas in the life of Mark Cohen comes and goes without any changes.

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**Thank you for reading!** Happy Holidays! Reviews are mini-presents and I'd love to hear what you think:) 


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